The past year and 4 months have been really fun and exciting as far as creativity goes. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would have so many people looking at my drawings (and when I say "so many" I really mean "more than five members of my immediate family"). I've gotten such positive feedback which has given me confidence to do more things. I've also seen beautiful art by many people and been able to chat with artists who inspire me. In addition, I've had opportunities to participate in craft fairs, be interviewed for the local paper, sell on consignment in another state. These are things I never imagined I'd be able to do. So, it's really amazing and I'm so happy!
But I've noticed lately how emotionally needy I am becoming when I put some piece of artwork "out there". I find that when I put something in my blog, or on face book or twitter or some other place, whether it's something I've written or an illustration, I just sit and wait for feedback.
And sometimes I don't get any.
Then I become a little obsessed with not getting feedback. Does this mean no one likes it? Does this mean no one is visiting my blog/etsy shop/facebook page/twitter posts? Are my 15 minutes of "fame" over? Am I ready to have all my creative juices dry up again and all I'll be able to do is draw the letters of my own name?
I feel like I'm in junior high or something, it's so SILLY! If no one in the world ever commented on my art again, or gave me any feedback about it, wouldn't that be ok? It would still be a wonderful outlet for me. It would still be fun and exciting. I could still get inspiration from and communicate with others.
I don't "do art" so that people will stroke my pitiful little ego. I do it because it's helping me have something that is my own when my full time job is to do other things that make me feel inadequate (taking care of little kids who are all too eager to let me know how I've failed them, keeping the house clean, cooking, paying bills, etc. All things that aren't my strength, but I'm responsible for anyway). I do it because it's theraputic and because I really need to use all these craft supplies I've been hoarding over the years!
If you are reading this post, please don't feel obligated to leave a comment. This is not a thinly designed ploy for feedback. In fact, it might be better if you don't leave any feedback, so I can just "get over myself"! :)