Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Tiny Voice and the Flitter of Panic

Sometimes while I'm doing some chore, like dishes or laundry or driving a kid somewhere, I think about my little business. I wonder to myself what I should do next. What can I do to get some people to notice me and to get more traffic to my blog and Etsy shop? Should I promote more in the forums and on other blogs? Should I make more things to add to my shop?

Whenever I think I should make something new, there is a little flitter of panic. The tiniest little voice that says, "what if there is nothing left to make? What if you are all out of ideas and you couldn't put something new in your shop if your life depended on it?"

I hate that tiny voice. But instead of freaking out and calling the tiny voice all kinds of nasty names, I just say to myself (very calmly), "well, it's possible that could happen. Maybe I am out of ideas and all the creative energy is gone. I'll just have to wait and see I guess." Remaining calm, helps me not give "power" to the tiny voice.

The fact is, the past year has been the most productive (creatively speaking) time of my life. I have loved every minute of it. I love having new ideas, I love being able to put the ideas down on paper (or canvas) and I love that one idea can lead to another and another and another. Prior to this, I was really stuck. I called it being "creatively constipated". I wanted so badly to make something - anything but I was too afraid I would make a mistake or make something really bad. I just kept buying supplies and thinking about what I could make.

The best thing that has happened to the creative part of my brain, is that I've given myself permission to make bad stuff. Things that are ugly, or weird or stupid. So I don't have to worry about mistakes. I make them, then move on.

I like being in this place much better than the constipation thing. And if someday I do run out of ideas, I could probably make a bunch of money by selling all my supplies in a garage sale. Until then, I'm just going to make stuff and not let the tiny voice steal my joy!

Here are some paintings I've done that I don't think are posted anywhere else:

The flower picture is called (this is so clever) "Flowers in Blue Heart Vase" and the other is called "In Celebration".


glassidentities said...

good post... I think we all know what your talking about.. and one thing.. "mistakes" can be great learning tools. Which I guess makes them non mistakes? :):) Your work is beautiful.

DreamON said...

I really enjoy having been "alerted" to your blog. It's great, and your work is wonderful!